today's special: grief, with a side of anxiety



7.29.2020

It's a weird feeling, waking up every day for months, not knowing what the hell I'm going to wake up to in the news, or really what the fuck is even going on outside. I'm in a routine of leaving the house only to go to the grocery store, or to watch the malls do what they're doing right now: barely hanging on. And man, do I feel that.

Getting groceries is an exhausting task, even with the cup of coffee I always have as a treat for going out shopping. I think Netflix brought back Supermarket Sweep to prepare us for what fall and winter might feel like. Maybe. Who fucking knows at this point.

This part of summer is when our apartment is at its hottest. There is no ac, only window units. I spend most of my time working in the dining room, or in the bedroom where the two window units are. So, my office is ready for fall, and I plan to spend a lot of time in there. I've wanted a work space of my own since I moved in here, and I finally was able to make that happen.

I hate being sad and warm at the same time, but that's how this summer has mostly been. This year. A year of terrible events and being constantly on guard. It sounds a lot like how I spent 2017. Sigh.

It feels good to be writing again.




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