Showing posts from October, 2019

Last Day.

I think today is going to be my last day of therapy.

The thing with mental health is that there is never a finish line. I wake up every single day depressed and beating myself up for being depressed. I feel like a failure more often than not.  I still feel responsible for people and things that have little to do with me.

My various traumas follow me around daily, too. Some days, they're big, angry ghosts that I can absolutely not outrun or hide out from. Other days, they're not angry; they're just lurking in the background, and I can see them, but they don't interfere with the entire day.

I work various part time jobs from home, because I can't see myself spending 40 hours outside of my house now, or maybe ever. I'm social and good with people, but some days, my brain wins and I want to be left alone. I have never applied for disability, despite having disabling mental health issues. I'm too smart. Too high functioning. At least that's what my brain te…