Digital Eyeballs

From CLE: Rooms to Let, 2019. Also my current favorite unintentional selfie.

We got cash and gift cards for Christmas. I told my husband then that I wanted to buy myself a camera, because I had outgrown the Canon that I had been using, and was using my phone more than I wanted to.  I then proceeded to research the crap out of the two that I wanted the most (Sony vs Fuji), and then go too far down the internet review wormhole and psych myself out. I used some of the money to pay off some bills, because I'm still digging myself back out financially from The Great Mental Breakdown of 2017.

Months went by, and I finally decided that one day while visiting my mom up at Cleveland Clinic main campus, I would stop by the Dodd Camera that I passed every time I drove up to the hospital. Another month passed, and I actually made the stop. I was able to hold the cameras in my hands and see how the felt to me, not just listen to how they felt to the guys in the various reviews I watched on YouTube. Two of the guys who were working that day shot with Fuji, so they were able to answer some of the other weird questions that I had. Between these guys and my friend Cooter, I was sold on a Fuji.

A month after that, I took the remaining money and financed half, and got myself a camera. And instantly, I was in love. The photos were so much more sharp than my old camera. I wanted to get out and see everything.

I've noticed that since picking a camera back up, I am engaging with the world around me in a different way. Instead of avoiding eye contact, I am constantly looking around, especially for the small details: I love old signage, bright colors in dull places, anything unexpected and borderline absurd. I'm also noticing that I'm showing up more in my photos now, too. I've started showing up for myself more in the past year or two, so me finally showing up in my photos makes perfect sense to me.

My husband and I are headed out on a roadtrip this weekend that will take us to some large, wonderful, decaying things in West Virginia and Virginia. I hope to maybe see a  mall along the way, too.


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